I admit, I though that I was going to have the review done earlier this week. Given that said reviewed book was only about 250 pages and I was already a good hundred pages in, I really meant to have it done earlier in the week. But c'est la vie. Life has never really decided it wanted to cooperate that much. That would be more of the wishful thinking aspect of life I believe. That and I honestly was slacking a little in my reading because I knew that I could so easily finish it. Oh well, there is really nothing to be done about the matter now and I can very proudly say that I have finished it and the that the review on Raising the Curve is up and ready to read for any of you who might find yourselves to be interested in it.
But my life is more than just reading. Or it should be, though sometimes I think it would be nice if I could just focus on my reading. It would be a lot more relaxing I can guarantee you that. But that isn't what it's supposed to be about. There are other aspects of my life. Like my depression. It isn't something that I like to talk about a lot. I'm too afraid people will think that I'm trying to get attention because of it or that I'm lying or something else like that. Whatever the case is, its something that I generally try very hard to hide.
It's probably also the reason I like candy so much.
Now that might seem like a leap in logic to some of you. But really, there is a logic there. You see, sweets release endorphins. They make you happy. That's why people usually enjoy eating them. I use that to self-medicate especially when things are getting bad or I'm afraid that they might. It's really not the best way to go about things, but going to the doctor isn't always an option and I really have this bad habit of not liking to spend money on taking care of myself. I don't like buying shoes. I don't like paying for medicine. It's a really bad pattern, a worse habit. Of course if my friends were to try and do the same thing I'd probably yell at them and when they realize what I'm doing they get on me.
Turnabout is fair play I suppose.
But that's why I love my friends. They are there for me and I am there for them. We've created our own little family of sorts. We're all a little broken, but its okay because it helps us to understand the others. We can see past the flaws that trip them up and they can show us that some things are worth living for if things get too dark. It's a very real kind of therapy and a very real kind of family unit. Some people say that family is the most important thing and I agree. But I also think that sometimes we can't only count the family that we are born with.
Families argue. They bicker. Sometimes they know each other well enough to not really know each other at all. When it comes to biological family there are certain expectations and for someone like me, it feels like I have never and will never meet them. Whether that is true or not is yet to be seen. When it comes a family unit of friends, however, the expectations become different. It is not about pleasing everyone else or trying to find a way to see that you matter in their eyes because you already know you do. When you pick friends for your family...you pick and you choose and in doing so, you show someone just how much they are really worth.
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